tennyson’s user manual
In order to improve collaboration, some people write “user manuals” for themselves. These living documents describe preferred working styles, communication styles, and idiosyncrasies. Here is mine. To a first approximation, assume that I am like most people. This document is meant as a second-order approximation.
tl;dr: I am often all-or-nothing, playfully competitive, and principled in my thoughts. Sometimes harsh when speaking about concepts, but mostly gentle when speaking about people.
What I value
Good thought processes, explicit communication, and results, mostly in that order.
There are a lot of rules of thumb and/or heuristics that work well for a while and then become maladaptive over time or have hidden externalities. That makes me weary of blindly praising outcomes. Instead, I typically appreciate good thought processes with principled rationale. There is, of course, additional nuisance. People often struggle to articulate their decision-making process. It would be arrogant to dismiss all enigmatic achievements and naive to ignore intuition informed by experience. However, I am biased towards understandable rationale, if for no other reason than the potential to learn from it.
Authenticity or passion or drive.
More than most, I appreciate commitment, focus, and deliberateness. People who employ these values tend to teach me a lot, and have often (for better or for worse) found themselves blazing new trails. Additionally, I tend to be slightly more tolerant of the accompanying idiosyncrasies. This is, of course, only a generalization.
Honesty, gentleness, and other squishy platitudes.
Like everyone else, I appreciate pro-social behavior. Anything that makes me feel safe around you will obviously improve our relationship. How people act during difficult times tends to matter very slightly more than during easy times.
How best to communicate with me
Clear language. Make precise descriptive claims, with citations if helpful. Separate intuition from facts, but convey both honestly. Avoid the xy problem, and remember that grovelling is not a substitute for doing your homework. If you’re asking me to teach you something, then I prefer that you first tell me what you know.
If you find yourself struggling to communicate with me, then:
- Request help: “I am having trouble finding the right words; can you help me explore my thoughts?”
- Rephrase my point of view and get confirmation: “What I heard you say was… Does that sound right?”
- Ask to slow down the conversation
- Open a shared Google Doc to take conversation notes together
How to give me constructive feedback
If the feedback is non-controversial (pointing out a typo), then I am generally happy to hear it.
If the feedback is controversial but you are well-informed and have well-thought-out rationale, then I would be excited to hear it!
If the feedback is controversial but difficult to articulate because it is vague, underdeveloped, or because you lack information, then there is more room for miscommunication. In general, I would appreciate it if you could be honest with what you know and what you don’t know. For example:
- I don’t know why you did it this way, but I normally see people do something different. I noticed some bad outcomes, so I wanted to bring it up.
- It seems—and this is just a feeling that I get—like you’re struggling with juggling the many parts of this project. What’s your perception? Would you like to hear my thoughts on possible solutions?
In general, my favorite constructive feedback tends to follow a loose pattern:
- Describe what you want to optimize for
- Acknowledge the current situation and reasoning
- Highlight shortcomings
- Propose a solution
- Explain why the solution has not already been implemented